uhmmm so, resuming, the problem is the saturation of your network interface right? that usually happens only when is specified a very low delay in the -l option (for example values under 10 milliseconds dependent by the connection) which causes the temporary interruption of the interface, but at the moment I have still not found ways to avoid this effect (if exists obviously).
another reason of this problem instead is non-dependent by udpsz, indeed if you are behind NAT/router a similar problem is normal because the device or the ISP (in case the NAT is performed by it) doesn't handle UDP packets from different source ports (you use -R) or to too much different destination IP/ports. in that case there is nothing to do.
this was the explanation about udpsz, while I have not understood the role of xbox live in this thing. because (luckily) a server/service doesn't go down simply for a lame sequence of UDP packets so your theory looks completely out of a technical foundation
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